Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Remembering Anthony

Christmas is a few days away and the heat is on. This has been a hectic couple of weeks for me. I travelled home at the weekend for my younger sister's wedding and it was a beautiful time with family. I was battling a cold but I managed to have a good time. The kids were so thrilled they begged us to leave them behind in Sapele, I was really tempted but thought better of it at the last minute.
The idea of spending Christmas alone did not appeal to moi in the least. Anyway, we've been back a couple of days now and even in the rush for Christmas an image remains in my mind and I just have to blog about it. My big Sister triggered the memory when she made reference to some childhood event. Then the memory came and wouldn't go away. The story I'm about to share with you has been dormant in my subconscious for over thirty years but now it won't go away. It is the story of Anthony. Anthony was his real name and I never knew his surname (I doubt if even Anthony knew his surname). I never knew his age, just knew he was much older than me; he could have been any age between fourteen and twenty, I didn't know and I'm not sure anyone else knew either.
You see Anthony was a 'houseboy'. He was a relative of the man of the house who happened to be one of my Dad's tenants in those days. I don't quite remember the whole family but I seem to recall the man had several daughters and no sons? Anyway, Anthony was the 'work tool' in that family. He did every menial job and then some!. I don't think Anthony was deliberately treated poorly but I struggle to recall anyone being kind to him and I'm afraid I cannot remember any occasion when anyone treated Anthony like the rest of us kids.
You see, Anthony was a tard different; he was a simple fellow, maybe a little retarded but was certainly not sharp like the other kids, and so, his lot was housework. Anthony was special, he was full of smiles, never took offence and was very forgiving. He was always willing to take on the most demeaning jobs with the same broad smile. He had very little and never seemed to eat well like the rest of the family. I remember Anthony licking the plates of his siblings but I don't remember him ever eating together with them. Anthony was always barefooted, even on rainy days and Sundays. Anthony was often the object of ridicule and the cruel jokes of the neighbourhood kids.
And then came this Christmas season and maybe someone had spoken to Anthony's guardians or maybe it had been a good year for them financially. Whatever the reason, they decided to make Anthony an outfit for Christmas. I no longer remember the colours of the fabric or any of those details but I do remember what that outfit did to my heart.

You see, the fabric must have been too small; because come Christmas morning, Anthony's trousers were short ( he was a big kid) and horror of horrors!, the tailor had sewn the outfit inside out! It was a disaster, he was wearing the wrong side of an under-sized outfit. To say he looked ridiculous is to put it mildly. He looked like a comedy act. As is to be expected, everyone laughed at him. I seem to recall my Mum's remarks that life was being cruel to Anthony; he finally gets an outfit and the tailor gets it wrong! But you know what? I learnt a life lesson from Anthony that day. Anthony was in his element, he was so grateful to have new clothes he didn't seem to notice the deficiencies or to care. He was so thrilled he could not stay still. He put on an ugly pair of rubber flip flops and went off to town. I remember seeing him later that evening watching some christmas show a few streets away from the house and looking so happy.
My soft heart broke at how funny he looked; I couldn't laugh at him like all the others, I was a much younger girl but I felt like giving him my own clothes. I saw the sweet simple soul inside of him and wished I could do something to help put a permanent smile on that dear simple face, but there was nothing I could do. I don't remember Anthony after that Christmas because I moved away to Warri and I grew up and went on with my own life.
Where is Anthony now? What became of him? Did he go to school? marry, have kids? I guess I will never know. But I remember Anthony and his big eyeballs and sweet smile and my heart still aches when I remember the happy young man in the wrongly sewn clothes.
I could not help then but WE can help him now; you and I. I'm going to be hitting my wardrobe hard in a few hours and I will brutally remove outfits that are good enough for Christmas and package them nicely for a female Anthony somewhere. On Christmas eve, I will do orphanage rounds and give out as much as I can to be sure a kid somewhere does not have to face ridicule on Christmas day. If you visit this blog, you can do the same for the Anthony in your neighbourhood. Go through your wardrobe, your Spouse's, your kids'; (if you don't know where Anthony lives, email me or leave a comment). I know where he lives; this year let's be Santa for someone else. If you're in Diaspora, you can get stuff from your friends and send all over Africa. Ten dollars may not mean much to you but it will put rice on African table this Christmas..Together, let's remember Anthony............

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON
THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE..John 3:16

Shalom people......

Monday, December 6, 2010

I just became a Grandma!

Hello All,

Remember yesterday's post? I promised the day would end well and you were to wait for the testimonies, right? I also mentioned that I was waiting for news that had me sitting on the edge of my chair waiting for the phone to ring; weellllllllll...the news did come. At exactly 4:27pm, Monday December 6th 2010 I became a grandmother!

The feeling is incomparable I can tell you; my baby brother whose birth I witnessed live some years ago and who is like my first son had his own first son and it is an awesome experience. Mother and son are beautiful and the proud Daddy who was there through it all is exhausted but riding high.
We give God glory for this beautiful birth..my siblings and I are celebrating and weeping at the same time, missing my Mom very much, though Titi assures me she is looking through Heaven's windows and dancing away. I'll be posting some pictures soon. He's truly beautiful, with a full head of curly dark hair, his Mummy's lips and my brother's big head!
I can't tell you what it feels like to watch two generations being born, but I can tell you I feel truly special this morning..........
The celebrations have only just begun

Shalom

Is it December already?

Hello All,

Okay, so that title is a lie right? I know it's December because I see it on my calendar and almost everywhere I look I see the beginnings of the Christmas festivities; so why do I wonder if it's December on this beautiful Monday morning? I will tell you.........
December is special, the month of Christmas and all things bright and beautiful and right now a lot of things look anything but......I'm battling this silly malaria that has been induced by a lowered immunity arising from the stress of inadequate rest and a lean purse-(lethal combination, I can tell you)
I'm waiting for news that has me on sitting on the edge of my chair waiting for the phone to ring while my spirit tries to pray a mile-a-minute. I'm looking at a December calender that looks so full, I might have to division myself into twice. I'm thinking of how to please my boss who doesn't seem to have "my time" right now and I'm wondering if I can hide from my 9yr old daughter who wants to dress like Hannah Montana for the annual children's party; and how to confess to my younger Sis. that big sis is too broke to make her contributions to the wedding and still be relevant at .......phew!
Now do you see why I'm wondering if we could wind back the clock to October?

Anyway, it's not all bad......... I had the experience of the year at the Experience, Friday night, even the malaria couldn't stop me, though it tried to slow me down. I was there live with the handsomest date a girl could wish for,(my 15 year dude) and my closest girlfriend and if you don't know who that is by now, then I can't help you....It was a night to remember. Pastor Paul Adefarasin is a man I respect beyond respect. The Experience is an experience in the possibility of the impossible. How do they do it? Pull off a programme of such huge magnitude without an obvious hitch? The official figures say 500,000 people but with what I saw on saturday morning when I left, I believe 1,000,000 is a more realistic figure.
So, I had a lovely experience which I'll try to write about another day, and then I had thanksgiving in church on sunday and it was beautiful. A weekend of beautiful stuff, which is maybe why, this monday morning looks so bleak? but it's not in how the day looks, it's in how it ends and this day will finish well..........wait for the testimonies!

Shalom people

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Half Justice or what?

Hello people

I usually try to keep my political views to myself and not bother my online audience with what I think of the wonderful democracy we operate in our beautiful Nation, Nigeria. But sometimes, a girl just can't keep quiet. Not when you wake up to meet a strike that threatens to throw all your plans out the window and newspaper headlines screaming that they will "shut down Nigeria"! Oh, yeah? Whose Nigeria? Yours, mine, theirs or OURS?
I mean, come on people, if Nigeria fails, who failed? the trees, the roads, the buildings or the people? Why do some people think that others have a bigger stake in Nigeria than they do? What's with this Us versus Them mentality? Nigeria is the sum total of what we all make it; whether we like it or not, we're as culpable as some of the so-called leaders we have. This nation belongs to us all and we must be careful what we do or not to make it work...........
In any case, that is not really my issue for today. The matter I find upsetting right now is the judgement of the Appeal Court sitting in Benin City, Edo State. It yesterday, ruled that Dr Emmanuel Uduaghan of Delta state should vacate office because he was not duly elected. I have no quarrel with Uduaghan vacating office, even though we all grew up together and even attended the same primary and secondary schools. My issue is this, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. The petition on which the court ruled was filed by Chief Great Ogboru and it was twofold. It not only challenged Uduaghan's election but also asked that he be declared Governor. So, my ire now is, why ask for a fresh election? why not declare Ogboru as winner instead of conducting a fresh election? Isn't that what has been done in other states? Why make a different pronoucement from what has been happening elsewhere? This seems to me like half justice. I'm willing to be educated

Shalom people!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Hunger,Oh, Hunger!

Hi All,

Ok, so maybe it's time for a little confession. Well, I'm not quite sure if it's a sin but in my last post I nicely left out telling you some things about my "forced diet". I'm feeling very "sin conscious this morning" so I'm going to bare it all!
First, I failed to talk about the hunger, Yikes! Only a strict medical order would have made me endure that type of hunger for so long. Even when I fasted for over forty days sometime ago, I didn't feel that hungry. Hunger that made me feel like buying Agege bread at Lekki phase 1 gate every morning, hunger that made me salivate at the sight of pap; hunger that made me envy every fat and flourishing person I saw on the streets. Hunger, like I've never known it, I've dreamt up some recipees in these past few weeks that will earn me 'chef of the year award' at any competition. The hunger made me wonder how those people in famine stricken areas must feel. Imagine being hungry to the point where you know it's going to kill you and not being able to do anything about it. The very thought of it, ugh! That's part of why I've decided a part of my every income must go to feeding some hungry person somewhere. I'm not talking big stuff here, just talking about institutionalising something I've always tried to do. Giving a beggar enough money to buy a plate of food or a loaf of bread.Helping a widow to give a child one meal a day. Nothing lofty, nothing fancy, just something to push that nasty thing thing called hunger away........I know hunger, believe me, it has an ugly face! If you feel like joining in please feel free.
I'm in a bit of a melancholy mood this morning; aside from the hunger, I saw a man killed violently in an early morning accident along Admiralty way. It made me think how futile our struggles can be. Like the wise man said, "it's all vanity". We need to put things in perspective and hold on to what's truly important. And with that thought in mind I'm signing off to go look for some food while I can still eat........
Shalom!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Now you see me, now you don't

Hi All,

I like writing, I really do, believe me, but.....if I like it so much how come I find blogging such a chore? As they say, if I knew the answer to that, I'd be...
Anyhow, I like to believe I'm back to form and well on top of my writing again. A lot has happened to me and mine in the recent and not-so-recent past. My brother Sammy, finally got himself a beautiful damsel and is happily married. My first son did me proud with his High School result and he seems to be doing fine aside from a leg in cast which is a story for another day.
Some good news; I'm back to a UK size 14 and dropping fast. A few weeks ago my system shutdown and refused to handle or process any more food due to a blocked intestine(all that heavy eba finally did me in) and I was placed on a liquids/soft diet for six weeks. This came at a time I was quite broke(excuse me? when aren't I broke?) Anyhow, I could barely get by and couldn't afford anything fancy. Boy, did the weight drop off me! I could literally see myself losing fat and flesh. So now my old clothes are hanging on me and looks like a little shopping is in order.
More good news,I am finally ready to relase a book into the market.Not a big novel or anything fancy, just a small Bible stories book rewritten for young readers. I have lofty dreams for it. I hope it gets read and it is appreciated, I hope it SELLS, and I hope it's not pirated. Pray for me will you? I need to do this to move from point A to B. I have others lined up waiting to go to press but a lot is riding on this one. The title? Soon enough my friend!
Shalom!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Malarial anger

I'm angry! Really angry. At malaria; I can't even write, though I ache to. That's what this easily preventable disease does to someone. I'm angry because I have tons of things to do for GoGagga and HSL and my family and now, I have to slow down a bit and pay attention to something caused by an insignificant little insect...........

See you on the other side of malaria, when I have overcome

Shalom!

Ps: My kids gave me a beautiful personalized mug for mother's day. It was so lovely that I wept- as usual you would say! more later

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Mother's day

It's mother's day today. I'm weeping as I write this. My mother has been off this earth for close on five years but I still miss her so! Nothing dulls the pain.
I think of her love, her pains, her shame, her tears, her hopes and dreams for my siblings and I.And I can't help but wonder? Can she see us now? Is she smiling at us? Is she still praying for me? Does it still matter?
More than all that, I wonder, did I show her enough love? did I make her realize she was special? more than anyone else in my life?. I wish I had a second chance to do more, to rejoice in her, to laugh with her and to, as they say, "hang out" a little bit-my mum and I. My "Mama GT". Beautiful, vivacious, witty, funny,bright, strong, oh,so very strong woman that gave me life. This one's for you mum. I hope the Angels in heaven will read this to you somehow and let you know that your "queen" misses you.
Mum, I put on weight at last! I'm no longer skinny, in fact, I'm quite fat now like you always wanted. And guess what else? I actually enjoy eating now. I still love blue jeans mum, but my size is now an issue. I still can't cook as well as you but people tell me I'm fast in the kitchen, just like you. I have issues with my siblings, like you did and now I understand better why you fought so hard for sibling unity. You were right about so many things mum, and I was wrong;forgive me for being so blind. We are doing ok, some struggles, but we are overcoming. Your baby is about to wed and I have a son you would have loved to love. I'm finally working on that book I promised, you're no longer here to tell me the stories, but I'll go with what I remember and the Holy Spirit will supply the rest. I love you mum. always will. Rest In Perfect Peace

Shalom

Thursday, March 11, 2010

It's my birthday!


Hmm, birthdays, I have always felt special on my birthday. It’s kind of like having your own special Christmas. No one in my home took much notice of birthdays while we were growing up, so I had to ‘feel special’ all by myself. Well… that’s not strictly true, being a daddy’s girl, my father always remembered my birthday but nothing really happened. But I celebrated it big time-in my heart and soul. I’ve been old enough for several years to afford to throw birthday parties and invite the world to dine at my expense but I guess old habits die hard; I hardly throw big parties. I’m more into having a few friends over for a nice home cooked meal and some drinks and listening to good background music. I find that even for my kids, I’ve never had a big party, so it’s become my tradition to do my things in a quiet way. But somewhere in my heart, I still ‘plan’ on having that big bash someday, maybe when I’m 50?

Okay, so no big parties, but I cherish my presents, my cards, and the good wishes! They add up to make feel truly special on this my special .Aside from my few years as a society columnist in a local newspaper when I had all sorts of “friends” and five-star hotels supplying cake and drinks for my birthdays in my twenties, this has been one of my more special birthdays. No, no party, no big do but lots of love from so many people I cherish.

My friends and family have made this day so special. Some of the phone calls, texts and messages left on my Facebook profile actually brought tears to my eyes! A dear friend says I’m strange, that the things that make others laugh make me cry and vice versa! She may be right, but truly this birthday has truly been special for so many reasons. I can’t list them all, but my friends are top on the list.

So what did I do? Well, I tried to look good because I had business meetings. Then I attended a surprise luncheon where they popped champagne for me- there was so much food I couldn’t eat, and felt hungry less than an hour later! I haven’t cut cake yet so maybe I’ll do that at the weekend? Don’t know yet, but it truly has been special a special day for me. I don’t really need fireworks to feel special; all I need is to know that somewhere, someone is thinking good thoughts about me. Some of you are so special I can’t help but mention a few names, Zizi, my friend through the ages, I have never stopped loving you girl. Ufuo, more friend than sister, more sister than friend, what can I say? I love you more each day. Mawuton, my precious gift from above, Aim, my in-law to be, my dear GIC, though you can’t sing, you sure know how to be a friend! My Sammyboy, you add value to me boy. CA, George, my Titi, MLB, May, Aunty IY, Chima, my Shell family, and all my beautiful friends. Online and offline, I cherish you one and all. My God rewards, surely there’s a package in heaven with your name on it.And to the one who gave me champagne and lovely designer jewelry, may you be celebrated sir!

Finally, my Olomi, how you can love me so is a wonder still! Denzel Washington ain’t got nothing on you my man.

God Bless you all, and now let the party begin……………….


Shalom