Mother's day

It's mother's day today. I'm weeping as I write this. My mother has been off this earth for close on five years but I still miss her so! Nothing dulls the pain.
I think of her love, her pains, her shame, her tears, her hopes and dreams for my siblings and I.And I can't help but wonder? Can she see us now? Is she smiling at us? Is she still praying for me? Does it still matter?
More than all that, I wonder, did I show her enough love? did I make her realize she was special? more than anyone else in my life?. I wish I had a second chance to do more, to rejoice in her, to laugh with her and to, as they say, "hang out" a little bit-my mum and I. My "Mama GT". Beautiful, vivacious, witty, funny,bright, strong, oh,so very strong woman that gave me life. This one's for you mum. I hope the Angels in heaven will read this to you somehow and let you know that your "queen" misses you.
Mum, I put on weight at last! I'm no longer skinny, in fact, I'm quite fat now like you always wanted. And guess what else? I actually enjoy eating now. I still love blue jeans mum, but my size is now an issue. I still can't cook as well as you but people tell me I'm fast in the kitchen, just like you. I have issues with my siblings, like you did and now I understand better why you fought so hard for sibling unity. You were right about so many things mum, and I was wrong;forgive me for being so blind. We are doing ok, some struggles, but we are overcoming. Your baby is about to wed and I have a son you would have loved to love. I'm finally working on that book I promised, you're no longer here to tell me the stories, but I'll go with what I remember and the Holy Spirit will supply the rest. I love you mum. always will. Rest In Perfect Peace

Shalom