writenow

THANKFUL FOR THE THORNS

2011-11-20T23:05:00.001-08:00

Hello People,It's been a particularly turbulent year and this morning I woke up struggling with the things I struggle with every morning; thoughts of how to move from point A to B crowded my mind and it looked praise would be a struggle; until I saw the email below from the Daily Encourager. It blessed me a great deal. I love to share my blessings............"Thankful For The Thorns"Sandra felt as low as the heels of her crocks when she pulled open the florist shop door, against a November gust of wind. Her life had been as sweet as a spring breeze and then, in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a "minor" automobile accident stole her joy. This was Thanksgiving week and the time she should have delivered their infant son. She grieved over their loss. Troubles had multiplied. Her husband's company "threatened" to transfer his job to a new location. Her sister had called to say that she could not come for her long awaited holiday visit. What's worse, Sandra's friend suggested that Sandra's grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder. "Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered. "For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life, but took her child's?" "Good afternoon, can I help you?" Sandra was startled by the approach of the shop clerk. "I... I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra. "For Thanksgiving? Do you want the beautiful, but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the 'Thanksgiving Special'? I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?" "Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong." Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you." Then the bell on the door rang, and the clerk greeted the new customer, "Hi, Barbara... let me get your order." She excused herself and walked back to a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and what appeared to be long-stemmed, thorny roses - except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped. There were no flowers. "Do you want these in a box?" asked the clerk. Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again.", she said, as she gently tapped her chest. Sandra stammered, "Uh, that lady just left with, uh... she left with no flowers!" "That's right," said the clerk. "I cut off the flowers. That's the 'Special'. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet.""Oh, come on! You can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that!" exclaimed Sandra. "Barbara came into the shop three years ago, feeling much as you do, today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had just lost her father to cancer; the family business was failing; her son had gotten into drugs; and she was facing major surgery." "That same year, I had lost my husband," continued the clerk. "For the first time in my life, I had to spend the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too much debt to allow any travel." "So what did you do?" asked Sandra. "I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for the good things in my life and I NEVER questioned Him why those GOOD things happened to me. But when the bad stuff hit, I cried out, "WHY? WHY Me?" It took time for me to learn that the dark times are important to our faith! I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of my life, but it took the thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort! You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others." Sandra sucked in her breath, as she thought about the thought that her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is, I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God." Just then someone else walked in the shop. "Hey, Phil!" the clerk greeted the balding, rotund man. "My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement... twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator. "Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind telling me why she wants a bouquet that looks like that?" "No... I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago, my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we trudged through problem after problem. The Lord rescued our marriage. Jenny, here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she had learned from "thorny" times. That was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks for what that problem taught us." As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!" "I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too... fresh." "Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that the thorns make the roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember that it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns." Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on her resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out. "I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute." "Thank you. What do I owe you?" "Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me." The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first." It read: My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns. I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant." Praise Him for the roses; thank Him for the thorns.

Celebrating Nigeria, Celebrating October

2011-10-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

CELEBRATING Nigeria, celebrating OctoberThis is a special month; one of the several special months in the year. It is the month of Nigeria’s independence from colonial rule. Some people- including yours truly- have often wondered if Nigeria did not get independence too early; nevertheless, we did get out from colonial rule and so we celebrate. Beyond the negatives, we do have a lot to celebrate as a Nation; the sense of freedom-well, most of the time at least-, the unbeatable spirit of the Nigerian, especially those of us from the Niger Delta ( Wafi no dey carry last, even if we are being a danger to ourselves). I remember once, a couple of years ago in a small Ivorien border town; it was almost 8pm, completely dark and we were in danger of being stranded but I still went ahead foolishly insisting on my rights. I could barely speak the language and while everyone else was quiet, I managed to make the point that I did not take kindly to being cheated and lied to. I could have been killed and thrown away in the bush and my family would never have found me but the Warri girl in me was on a roll; even after, a stern looking gun toting security man, pulled me aside and said very sternly, “ici Cote d’Ivoire, n’est pas Nigeria”, I made sure I hissed at him very loudly before getting into the overcrowded taxi for my night ride to Abidjan. You just can’t push us quietly under a carpet, and I celebrate thatI believe the Brits would have stayed longer if the Warri people and those with the wafi spirit were not part of the entity called Nigeria; they just couldn’t stand us any longer, and so they left without completing their assignment, and here we are, 51 years later, wondering who stopped the music and looking helplessly for the Disc Jockey. Nevertheless, we celebrate you Nigeria; you may not be the best but you are all we’ve got and we celebrate you, this country of ours. The things that have befallen you would have felled many a “stronger” Nation, but you are still standing proud, maybe a little bent but you are still there; I celebrate that. Every successive government steals more than the last and we hold our breaths expecting to hear the death knell, but you simply shake it off and say, “bring it on”. I celebrate you my Country, land of my birth, home of my dreams, maybe not in my time but certainly, we will get there.I celebrate my October people too; Aunty Murietta, whose birthday is October 4th, my Sierra Leonean Aunt with a heart of gold and the ability to make boiled water taste like a gourmet dish; beautiful, lively, loving and sassy. I celebrate you Aunty, on this earth you will receive a reward and in Heaven too. Happy Birthday. You’ve always brightened my OctobersI celebrate too, a recent friend, a leader, a brother, a man of God and a totally beautiful and selfless person, Pastor Jasper Chime Gogo. A heart for God’s children everywhere, a selfless giver and a big dreamer. You push people to go beyond themselves and excel; you put your pain aside and encourage others to turn their pain to gain. We celebrate you Sir! The World will laugh with you yet, you’ll see.I celebrate too, my brother, Ben; he beat me so much as a young child, I needed no one to tell me my mouth was too “sharp”. I love you my October brother; greatness lies in you and together we will bring it all out. You are special indeed.I celebrate my friend, brother and classmate, Enahoro, fine boy of those days! A good number of the girls in my class had teenage-sized crushes (is that correct?) on you. Those who didn’t were either crushing on unattainables like Michael Jackson or had too much bad belle.( I reserve the right to hide the category I belong to). Well done my dear friend, it was a priviledge growing up alongside you. Happy Birthday in advanceI celebrate too, a dear friend who became such a big man that we dare not mention his name here anymore; you were a good friend and good friends should always be celebrated. For you, I down my imaginary glass of the finest champagne as I drink to your health.And last, but no way the least, I celebrate October, ushering in the end of the rains and the start of my favourite season of the year. Now I can begin to count the days to Christmas. I celebrate you October, as months go, you deserve a high five!

Craving some freedom of worship...

2011-09-25T10:55:00.000-07:00

I'm a dreamer, always have been a dreamer and I guess I will always be a dreamer. No regrets though; a lot of my dreams have come true, some may still come true and some others are sooo outlandish, I know they will not come true ( Jesus loves me too much to allow those come true)Some of my dreams are just escape places for me to run away from reality; I usually make those dreams very beautiful and I put in everything to suit my mood at the time. I dream in full technicolor and I spare no expense to make my dreams exactly what I want. After-all, what'[s the point of living less than fabulously in dreamland?So, I make my dreams as good as possible and who knows? someday I just might see one of my "impossible dreams" come true.Right now, I'm dreaming of freedom of worship; Please don't tell me I live in a country where I can worship the way I want. I know that already. The kind of freedom I want is the freedom to worship without church politics, gossip, rumours, intrigues and all those little things that trail humans wherever they are found.A wise person once said to me that the closer you are to the centre of events in a church, the more you will find out that people are the same everywhere, even, in the church. Sometimes it gets so tiring; trying to be careful of hurting people's feelings and not being able to express yourself freely and truly-sigh! Being diplomatic in the house of God? Not easy for me to do, I must confess, so I'm creating a dream church where I can worship freely and there are no intrigues, no politics, no diplomatic manouvres. Just plain old worship of God Almighty.....In short, a little bit of heaven on Earth.I can dream, can't I?Shalom!

Post Birthday post

2011-03-21T12:40:00.000-07:00

Hello my friends

I have been very quiet, which is not unusual; what is unusual about this quietness is the period I'm in.It was my birthday eleven days ago (10th) and I usually make some noise on my day. It is my own "Christmas day" and I would normally write something. I had actually planned my post for that day, but for some reason it was not to be. At the last minute, I decided to do a different type of celebration, one that is almost entirely spiritual and did not require any sort of noise making. The type people usually term "soul searching"

So yes, I've been searching my soul, and I must confess, I've not been too pleased with some of the stuff I've found there. Broken dreams, unfulfilled promises, under achievement, missed or misused opportunities..phew! I could go on and on. I've found a lot of clutter and it looks like there's a whole lot more to discover in that place where we usually hate to look. I've decided to look very hard in every nook and cranny and do a proper "spring cleaning" with the help of my Helper, the Holy Spirit. It could take a while to get there but I know at the end of this sanitation exercise, a whole new me will emerge. I can't wait to meet me then, but even now I already see the benefits.

So, what did I do on my day? I visited my daughter in Queen's College with her siblings in tow and spent several hours cheering at the school's inter-house sports. I received several beautiful wishes online and offline. Got some very lovely presents and was treated to a beautiful dinner for two by my favourite person. Thank you all for stopping by on my birthday; I appreciate every word, every wish and every prayer. If you didn't stop by, don't beat yourself up; I didn't notice, in my heart you did and I appreciate you.
It's been a very busy time for me at work and a number of things breaking out here and there. Watch out for details soon.

Shalom

Here's to YOU

2011-02-24T23:36:00.000-08:00

This one's a special post today to some of my fav peeps who are celebrating. A famous line from the Bible says, "Silver and Gold have I none..." and this day I will use what I do have to wish you all a fantastic, fun-filled' and fulfilling year as you grow older.

The year began with my handsome (inside and out) God-loving, Jesus-preaching son who turned eleven on the 1st day of January- I celebrate you my son, I love you beyond words, beyond reason. You were marked before you were conceived, given to the LORD from whom you surely came. I stand in awe of the Lord's annointing upon your life and feel totally priviledged to have been the Lord's vessel in this great work. I bless you with every breath that I have.

There are January people that I forget now as I write but the Lord cannot forget; February 5th my beautiful SILs, EJ, IG and ON as well as the memory of the best brother in law a wife could wish for, Charlie, I know the Angels cut a cake in Heaven that day! 10th was for my dear husband and though the day was quiet, I know that Heaven smiled at the final picture of this great work-in-progress. My lovely, lovely, friend, uncle, brother in Jesus, father, mentor and dearest person, Uncle SAO at the UN, even the mere thought of you is a blessing! I know your day was blessed and I hope we speak soon. I miss you sir. The journey to greatness is not over yet by a long shot.
Today, 25th, is for two great ladies, Aima and Ndidi. Beautiful, vivacious and totally God-loving, and not ashamed to proclaim it! Only the LORD knows what impact you've had on me and mine. Aima, I send you a virtual hug and a special kiss; when you put that spoonful of birthday rice in your mouth, pray hard that it ends up in your belly and not mine cos I'm thinking of you so much today. Ndidi, I know I will see you today, some responsibilities you cannot run away from...this one must be!

The month will end with another dear person I must celebrate; Jonah, my friend, brother, brother-in-law, "Doctor" and neighbor. Don't know what we would do without you in our lives.

To you all, I say, may you know God in ever-increasing measure, experience grace beyond expectation,joy divine,Peace that passes understanding and blessings that overflow.

I love YOU and I celebrate YOU, but even more, Jesus loves You and He rejoices in You.

Have a wonderful year! Happy, Happy Birthday

PS: ...and if I didn't mention you by name, the Lord has numbered the very hairs on your head and it is impossible for HIM to forget your name...

and now I remember, my newest friend, age mate and Warri Sister, whose day was yesterday 24th, Mrs AJ, of FCMB, who, I believe the Lord has just brought into my life...Many Happy returns!

Shalom!

Remembering Anthony

2010-12-22T07:21:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a few days away and the heat is on. This has been a hectic couple of weeks for me. I travelled home at the weekend for my younger sister's wedding and it was a beautiful time with family. I was battling a cold but I managed to have a good time. The kids were so thrilled they begged us to leave them behind in Sapele, I was really tempted but thought better of it at the last minute.
The idea of spending Christmas alone did not appeal to moi in the least. Anyway, we've been back a couple of days now and even in the rush for Christmas an image remains in my mind and I just have to blog about it. My big Sister triggered the memory when she made reference to some childhood event. Then the memory came and wouldn't go away. The story I'm about to share with you has been dormant in my subconscious for over thirty years but now it won't go away. It is the story of Anthony. Anthony was his real name and I never knew his surname (I doubt if even Anthony knew his surname). I never knew his age, just knew he was much older than me; he could have been any age between fourteen and twenty, I didn't know and I'm not sure anyone else knew either.
You see Anthony was a 'houseboy'. He was a relative of the man of the house who happened to be one of my Dad's tenants in those days. I don't quite remember the whole family but I seem to recall the man had several daughters and no sons? Anyway, Anthony was the 'work tool' in that family. He did every menial job and then some!. I don't think Anthony was deliberately treated poorly but I struggle to recall anyone being kind to him and I'm afraid I cannot remember any occasion when anyone treated Anthony like the rest of us kids.
You see, Anthony was a tard different; he was a simple fellow, maybe a little retarded but was certainly not sharp like the other kids, and so, his lot was housework. Anthony was special, he was full of smiles, never took offence and was very forgiving. He was always willing to take on the most demeaning jobs with the same broad smile. He had very little and never seemed to eat well like the rest of the family. I remember Anthony licking the plates of his siblings but I don't remember him ever eating together with them. Anthony was always barefooted, even on rainy days and Sundays. Anthony was often the object of ridicule and the cruel jokes of the neighbourhood kids.
And then came this Christmas season and maybe someone had spoken to Anthony's guardians or maybe it had been a good year for them financially. Whatever the reason, they decided to make Anthony an outfit for Christmas. I no longer remember the colours of the fabric or any of those details but I do remember what that outfit did to my heart.

You see, the fabric must have been too small; because come Christmas morning, Anthony's trousers were short ( he was a big kid) and horror of horrors!, the tailor had sewn the outfit inside out! It was a disaster, he was wearing the wrong side of an under-sized outfit. To say he looked ridiculous is to put it mildly. He looked like a comedy act. As is to be expected, everyone laughed at him. I seem to recall my Mum's remarks that life was being cruel to Anthony; he finally gets an outfit and the tailor gets it wrong! But you know what? I learnt a life lesson from Anthony that day. Anthony was in his element, he was so grateful to have new clothes he didn't seem to notice the deficiencies or to care. He was so thrilled he could not stay still. He put on an ugly pair of rubber flip flops and went off to town. I remember seeing him later that evening watching some christmas show a few streets away from the house and looking so happy.
My soft heart broke at how funny he looked; I couldn't laugh at him like all the others, I was a much younger girl but I felt like giving him my own clothes. I saw the sweet simple soul inside of him and wished I could do something to help put a permanent smile on that dear simple face, but there was nothing I could do. I don't remember Anthony after that Christmas because I moved away to Warri and I grew up and went on with my own life.
Where is Anthony now? What became of him? Did he go to school? marry, have kids? I guess I will never know. But I remember Anthony and his big eyeballs and sweet smile and my heart still aches when I remember the happy young man in the wrongly sewn clothes.
I could not help then but WE can help him now; you and I. I'm going to be hitting my wardrobe hard in a few hours and I will brutally remove outfits that are good enough for Christmas and package them nicely for a female Anthony somewhere. On Christmas eve, I will do orphanage rounds and give out as much as I can to be sure a kid somewhere does not have to face ridicule on Christmas day. If you visit this blog, you can do the same for the Anthony in your neighbourhood. Go through your wardrobe, your Spouse's, your kids'; (if you don't know where Anthony lives, email me or leave a comment). I know where he lives; this year let's be Santa for someone else. If you're in Diaspora, you can get stuff from your friends and send all over Africa. Ten dollars may not mean much to you but it will put rice on African table this Christmas..Together, let's remember Anthony............

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON
THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE..John 3:16

Shalom people......

I just became a Grandma!

2010-12-06T22:33:00.000-08:00

Hello All,

Remember yesterday's post? I promised the day would end well and you were to wait for the testimonies, right? I also mentioned that I was waiting for news that had me sitting on the edge of my chair waiting for the phone to ring; weellllllllll...the news did come. At exactly 4:27pm, Monday December 6th 2010 I became a grandmother!

The feeling is incomparable I can tell you; my baby brother whose birth I witnessed live some years ago and who is like my first son had his own first son and it is an awesome experience. Mother and son are beautiful and the proud Daddy who was there through it all is exhausted but riding high.
We give God glory for this beautiful birth..my siblings and I are celebrating and weeping at the same time, missing my Mom very much, though Titi assures me she is looking through Heaven's windows and dancing away. I'll be posting some pictures soon. He's truly beautiful, with a full head of curly dark hair, his Mummy's lips and my brother's big head!
I can't tell you what it feels like to watch two generations being born, but I can tell you I feel truly special this morning..........
The celebrations have only just begun

Shalom

Is it December already?

2010-12-06T00:02:00.000-08:00

Hello All,

Okay, so that title is a lie right? I know it's December because I see it on my calendar and almost everywhere I look I see the beginnings of the Christmas festivities; so why do I wonder if it's December on this beautiful Monday morning? I will tell you.........
December is special, the month of Christmas and all things bright and beautiful and right now a lot of things look anything but......I'm battling this silly malaria that has been induced by a lowered immunity arising from the stress of inadequate rest and a lean purse-(lethal combination, I can tell you)
I'm waiting for news that has me on sitting on the edge of my chair waiting for the phone to ring while my spirit tries to pray a mile-a-minute. I'm looking at a December calender that looks so full, I might have to division myself into twice. I'm thinking of how to please my boss who doesn't seem to have "my time" right now and I'm wondering if I can hide from my 9yr old daughter who wants to dress like Hannah Montana for the annual children's party; and how to confess to my younger Sis. that big sis is too broke to make her contributions to the wedding and still be relevant at .......phew!
Now do you see why I'm wondering if we could wind back the clock to October?

Anyway, it's not all bad......... I had the experience of the year at the Experience, Friday night, even the malaria couldn't stop me, though it tried to slow me down. I was there live with the handsomest date a girl could wish for,(my 15 year dude) and my closest girlfriend and if you don't know who that is by now, then I can't help you....It was a night to remember. Pastor Paul Adefarasin is a man I respect beyond respect. The Experience is an experience in the possibility of the impossible. How do they do it? Pull off a programme of such huge magnitude without an obvious hitch? The official figures say 500,000 people but with what I saw on saturday morning when I left, I believe 1,000,000 is a more realistic figure.
So, I had a lovely experience which I'll try to write about another day, and then I had thanksgiving in church on sunday and it was beautiful. A weekend of beautiful stuff, which is maybe why, this monday morning looks so bleak? but it's not in how the day looks, it's in how it ends and this day will finish well..........wait for the testimonies!

Shalom people

Half Justice or what?

2010-11-10T06:39:00.000-08:00

Hello people

I usually try to keep my political views to myself and not bother my online audience with what I think of the wonderful democracy we operate in our beautiful Nation, Nigeria. But sometimes, a girl just can't keep quiet. Not when you wake up to meet a strike that threatens to throw all your plans out the window and newspaper headlines screaming that they will "shut down Nigeria"! Oh, yeah? Whose Nigeria? Yours, mine, theirs or OURS?
I mean, come on people, if Nigeria fails, who failed? the trees, the roads, the buildings or the people? Why do some people think that others have a bigger stake in Nigeria than they do? What's with this Us versus Them mentality? Nigeria is the sum total of what we all make it; whether we like it or not, we're as culpable as some of the so-called leaders we have. This nation belongs to us all and we must be careful what we do or not to make it work...........
In any case, that is not really my issue for today. The matter I find upsetting right now is the judgement of the Appeal Court sitting in Benin City, Edo State. It yesterday, ruled that Dr Emmanuel Uduaghan of Delta state should vacate office because he was not duly elected. I have no quarrel with Uduaghan vacating office, even though we all grew up together and even attended the same primary and secondary schools. My issue is this, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. The petition on which the court ruled was filed by Chief Great Ogboru and it was twofold. It not only challenged Uduaghan's election but also asked that he be declared Governor. So, my ire now is, why ask for a fresh election? why not declare Ogboru as winner instead of conducting a fresh election? Isn't that what has been done in other states? Why make a different pronoucement from what has been happening elsewhere? This seems to me like half justice. I'm willing to be educated

Shalom people!

Hunger,Oh, Hunger!

2010-10-29T00:52:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

Ok, so maybe it's time for a little confession. Well, I'm not quite sure if it's a sin but in my last post I nicely left out telling you some things about my "forced diet". I'm feeling very "sin conscious this morning" so I'm going to bare it all!
First, I failed to talk about the hunger, Yikes! Only a strict medical order would have made me endure that type of hunger for so long. Even when I fasted for over forty days sometime ago, I didn't feel that hungry. Hunger that made me feel like buying Agege bread at Lekki phase 1 gate every morning, hunger that made me salivate at the sight of pap; hunger that made me envy every fat and flourishing person I saw on the streets. Hunger, like I've never known it, I've dreamt up some recipees in these past few weeks that will earn me 'chef of the year award' at any competition. The hunger made me wonder how those people in famine stricken areas must feel. Imagine being hungry to the point where you know it's going to kill you and not being able to do anything about it. The very thought of it, ugh! That's part of why I've decided a part of my every income must go to feeding some hungry person somewhere. I'm not talking big stuff here, just talking about institutionalising something I've always tried to do. Giving a beggar enough money to buy a plate of food or a loaf of bread.Helping a widow to give a child one meal a day. Nothing lofty, nothing fancy, just something to push that nasty thing thing called hunger away........I know hunger, believe me, it has an ugly face! If you feel like joining in please feel free.
I'm in a bit of a melancholy mood this morning; aside from the hunger, I saw a man killed violently in an early morning accident along Admiralty way. It made me think how futile our struggles can be. Like the wise man said, "it's all vanity". We need to put things in perspective and hold on to what's truly important. And with that thought in mind I'm signing off to go look for some food while I can still eat........
Shalom!

Now you see me, now you don't

2010-10-27T04:51:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

I like writing, I really do, believe me, but.....if I like it so much how come I find blogging such a chore? As they say, if I knew the answer to that, I'd be...
Anyhow, I like to believe I'm back to form and well on top of my writing again. A lot has happened to me and mine in the recent and not-so-recent past. My brother Sammy, finally got himself a beautiful damsel and is happily married. My first son did me proud with his High School result and he seems to be doing fine aside from a leg in cast which is a story for another day.
Some good news; I'm back to a UK size 14 and dropping fast. A few weeks ago my system shutdown and refused to handle or process any more food due to a blocked intestine(all that heavy eba finally did me in) and I was placed on a liquids/soft diet for six weeks. This came at a time I was quite broke(excuse me? when aren't I broke?) Anyhow, I could barely get by and couldn't afford anything fancy. Boy, did the weight drop off me! I could literally see myself losing fat and flesh. So now my old clothes are hanging on me and looks like a little shopping is in order.
More good news,I am finally ready to relase a book into the market.Not a big novel or anything fancy, just a small Bible stories book rewritten for young readers. I have lofty dreams for it. I hope it gets read and it is appreciated, I hope it SELLS, and I hope it's not pirated. Pray for me will you? I need to do this to move from point A to B. I have others lined up waiting to go to press but a lot is riding on this one. The title? Soon enough my friend!
Shalom!

Malarial anger

2010-03-15T22:16:00.000-07:00

I'm angry! Really angry. At malaria; I can't even write, though I ache to. That's what this easily preventable disease does to someone. I'm angry because I have tons of things to do for GoGagga and HSL and my family and now, I have to slow down a bit and pay attention to something caused by an insignificant little insect...........

See you on the other side of malaria, when I have overcome

Shalom!

Ps: My kids gave me a beautiful personalized mug for mother's day. It was so lovely that I wept- as usual you would say! more later

Mother's day

2010-03-14T00:37:00.003-08:00

It's mother's day today. I'm weeping as I write this. My mother has been off this earth for close on five years but I still miss her so! Nothing dulls the pain.
I think of her love, her pains, her shame, her tears, her hopes and dreams for my siblings and I.And I can't help but wonder? Can she see us now? Is she smiling at us? Is she still praying for me? Does it still matter?
More than all that, I wonder, did I show her enough love? did I make her realize she was special? more than anyone else in my life?. I wish I had a second chance to do more, to rejoice in her, to laugh with her and to, as they say, "hang out" a little bit-my mum and I. My "Mama GT". Beautiful, vivacious, witty, funny,bright, strong, oh,so very strong woman that gave me life. This one's for you mum. I hope the Angels in heaven will read this to you somehow and let you know that your "queen" misses you.
Mum, I put on weight at last! I'm no longer skinny, in fact, I'm quite fat now like you always wanted. And guess what else? I actually enjoy eating now. I still love blue jeans mum, but my size is now an issue. I still can't cook as well as you but people tell me I'm fast in the kitchen, just like you. I have issues with my siblings, like you did and now I understand better why you fought so hard for sibling unity. You were right about so many things mum, and I was wrong;forgive me for being so blind. We are doing ok, some struggles, but we are overcoming. Your baby is about to wed and I have a son you would have loved to love. I'm finally working on that book I promised, you're no longer here to tell me the stories, but I'll go with what I remember and the Holy Spirit will supply the rest. I love you mum. always will. Rest In Perfect Peace

Shalom

It's my birthday!

2010-03-11T01:37:00.000-08:00

Hmm, birthdays, I have always felt special on my birthday. It’s kind of like having your own special Christmas. No one in my home took much notice of birthdays while we were growing up, so I had to ‘feel special’ all by myself. Well… that’s not strictly true, being a daddy’s girl, my father always remembered my birthday but nothing really happened. But I celebrated it big time-in my heart and soul. I’ve been old enough for several years to afford to throw birthday parties and invite the world to dine at my expense but I guess old habits die hard; I hardly throw big parties. I’m more into having a few friends over for a nice home cooked meal and some drinks and listening to good background music. I find that even for my kids, I’ve never had a big party, so it’s become my tradition to do my things in a quiet way. But somewhere in my heart, I still ‘plan’ on having that big bash someday, maybe when I’m 50?

Okay, so no big parties, but I cherish my presents, my cards, and the good wishes! They add up to make feel truly special on this my special .Aside from my few years as a society columnist in a local newspaper when I had all sorts of “friends” and five-star hotels supplying cake and drinks for my birthdays in my twenties, this has been one of my more special birthdays. No, no party, no big do but lots of love from so many people I cherish.

My friends and family have made this day so special. Some of the phone calls, texts and messages left on my Facebook profile actually brought tears to my eyes! A dear friend says I’m strange, that the things that make others laugh make me cry and vice versa! She may be right, but truly this birthday has truly been special for so many reasons. I can’t list them all, but my friends are top on the list.

So what did I do? Well, I tried to look good because I had business meetings. Then I attended a surprise luncheon where they popped champagne for me- there was so much food I couldn’t eat, and felt hungry less than an hour later! I haven’t cut cake yet so maybe I’ll do that at the weekend? Don’t know yet, but it truly has been special a special day for me. I don’t really need fireworks to feel special; all I need is to know that somewhere, someone is thinking good thoughts about me. Some of you are so special I can’t help but mention a few names, Zizi, my friend through the ages, I have never stopped loving you girl. Ufuo, more friend than sister, more sister than friend, what can I say? I love you more each day. Mawuton, my precious gift from above, Aim, my in-law to be, my dear GIC, though you can’t sing, you sure know how to be a friend! My Sammyboy, you add value to me boy. CA, George, my Titi, MLB, May, Aunty IY, Chima, my Shell family, and all my beautiful friends. Online and offline, I cherish you one and all. My God rewards, surely there’s a package in heaven with your name on it.And to the one who gave me champagne and lovely designer jewelry, may you be celebrated sir!

Finally, my Olomi, how you can love me so is a wonder still! Denzel Washington ain’t got nothing on you my man.

God Bless you all, and now let the party begin……………….

Shalom

Looooong Time

2009-12-07T06:25:00.000-08:00

Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since my last post. Life as a busy mother sometimes has a way of just slipping by. The school term is almost up and Christmas is the next big event on the family calendar. The tree is late this year; there's been too many other things to attend to. I'm on a personal deadline to finish up a book before the holidays start.

December has been quite full and threatening to get fuller. I attended the Experience christian musical festival and it was quite an experience. I was on my feet all night. I actually thought I would not be able stand up for a whole week, but the following night I was again dancing at our annual dinner; and what do you know, I danced again on Sunday during the thanksgiving service! I don't remember ever dancing this much in my whole life. Anyhow, I thoroughly enjoyed myself and look forward to dancing some more this month.

I look forward to some exciting times soon and promise to share.

shalom!

"You are always going out"!

2009-09-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

Why do kids usually feel they have the right to question their parents? I am often taken aback when anyone of my children take me to task over my actions. Take this morning for instance; I was all dressed and ready to go out. I called the younger ones for a bye- bye hug and I got a shocker from Voke, "my quiet one".
He looked at me balefully and said in a very accusatory tone, "you always going out"! As I watched fat teardrops gather and roll down his face, I did a double take. The guilt hit me hard and I was speechless for a few seconds- just a few, mind you, then I let him 'have it'.
He was being so unfair! I had been staying home more than usual for me in the past six months.Partly because I was working as much as possible from home and partly because, well, because!
Anyhow, they had gotten used to seeing me home more often and I guess for him, life' s best when both parents sit at home all day! But my work as a travel consultant does require me to move around quite a bit and I had just come home from a two week adventure trip which took me to four countries in our region- see ajalatravel.blogspot.com- I also had an old friend from out of town and I needed to cram a lot of movement into the two days she would be around.
I'd been out all day the day before and here I was all dressed up and ready to go again! He started weeping and my hard heart melted. He is only nine, what does he know of the neccessity of going out? What does he care that mummy's work requires her to travel and go out again and again and again? All he knows that is that mummy has done more than her fair share of going out and it is time to stay home!
I am forced to think back to my days as a child and how much I missed my mum when she had to go out. I looked at his tears and almost cried a few of mine because I know by the time I will finally sit at home with nothing to do he will be in too much of a hurry to go out. Then the tables would have turned full circle and I can't help but wonder if I'll wish then I had stayed home more!

Shalom!

Rain, rain go away

2009-06-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

If you know me well, then you'll know I don't particularly care about the rainy season. Rather curious you might say, considering that I was born and brought up in the heart of Africa's rain forest. Or maybe not so curious, I think I had enough rains as a child to last me a lifetime!

Anyhow, I learnt to accept the rains as more than an inconvenience after I gave my life to Christ some 14+ years ago. Actually began to appreciate the necessity of the rainy season. (note, I did not say, started liking the rains- I still don't). It brings to mind too many memories of harder times gone by that I would rather forget! But what's a girl to do? The rains must come and it has come with all its fury this year.
Lagos is particularly notorious for its seemingly endless rainfall. And then along comes all the associated discomfort; traffic snarls, dirty cars, dirty markets, power outages and all those things that make life in Lagos such a challenge!
One of the things I do not appreciate about the rainy season is the dampness. Everywhere is cold and damp, with a creeping kind of coldness; and yet the humidity remains! With the dampness comes along what I call the "rainy season ailments", runny nose, unclear chests and all sorts of childhood ailments that do not necessarily have names or medical definitions; which is where I have been for the past 10 days or so..................I'll be back

shalom

English Lesson

2009-02-26T02:31:00.000-08:00

Hi All,

Time for a good laugh at the expense of the English. Enjoy!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
Anonymous

Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English;
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) There is no time like the present, he said it was time to present the
present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine In
pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wiseguy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

If Dad is Pop, how come! Mom isn't Mop?

GO FIGURE! That's English.

Go Slow attack

2009-02-26T00:07:00.000-08:00

Hi All,

Anyone familiar with the Lagos roads knows that the snail pace traffic popularly referred to in Nigeria as "go slow" is a part of every day life. In fact the only way to avoid it is to remain in your house. No matter which part of the megalopolis you live or work, you will encounter it on your way to or from work, party, church, hospital, wherever. It is an accepted part of life in Lagos. No one likes it, we just live with it given that we have no choice.

Coming from a background of twelve years as an Abuja resident it is particularly difficult for me to bear, but who has a choice? However, bad as the traffic situation is, it is made worse by the dangers that await in various forms; car breakdowns, empty fuel tanks and especially, robbery attacks! Yes, robbery attacks, daytime or night they rob you quietly or noisily and disappear into thin air! Sometimes they rob sveral vehicles in a row and everyone is helpless as there is no where to run. Everyone knows that they happen all the time, you just pray and hope to never fall a victim.

Well, last night I almost fell a victim! I have very poor night vision and generally try to avoid driving at night; but sometimes this is unavoidable. Last night I was on my way home from church. I had not attended weekly services for about three months because of the challenge with driving at night, but I was feeling the effects of missing fellowship so much that I had to take the risk this week. On tuesday, I asked a friend who was carless and going my way to drive me home. Yesterday there was no one to drive me home and I faced the road myself.

When I observed the traffic snarl a few metres from my church, I was at once grateful and upset. Grateful, because with a slow moving traffic it is easier for me to drive in the night; and upset because I was very hungry and wanted to get home quickly to my dinner. The traffic was really bad and we were barely moving, I had an irate customer calling me to demand for their Dubai visa which Ishould have emailed about three hours earlier. I reassured the lady that I would send the visa on getting home and tried to explain about the bad traffic situation. I succeeded in calming her down and dropped my phone beside me.
As usual there was no light as PHCN was on "duty" and I wondered idly when the electrical situation in our nation would be permanently rectified and we would have streetlights evrywhere.
The traffic was so bad that most people had their engines turned off, including yours truly, my windos were down for some air and my doors were unlocked. Suddenly a young man on a motorbike came out seemingly from no where and stopped by my window. "mama dem dey call you for back" meaning, "hey lady, there's someone looking for you at the back". "who be the person? I asked , "somebody", he insisted.

I kept on querying him and I refused to look back. When he saw that I could not be distracted he looked at me angrily and moved off towards the back of my car, it was then I looked back and saw that he had a partner who quickly jumped on the motorbike and they zoomed! It was then I realised that this must be how it happens, you are quietly dispossesed in the traffic and no one around is any wiser! That was when the shakes started for me.I called my hubby and narrated what had taken place, ( as if he could do anything about it) and then I started my car, wound up my windws, and locked the doors. Of course from then till I got home I was more attentive!

It is a nasty experience and even though nothing happened I still shudder to think what might have happened. The funny part of it all is that I had no money l on me. Not even five naira. I had dropped all my money in the offering in church. I have a blackberry phone which I hardly carry around; it was at home safely, the handset I had on me costs a mere 3000 naira (less than $20) brand new, a grateful customer had given it to me last year.
I had nothing of any value to a thief, but of great value to me. I had my wallet which is stuffed full with various cards. My visa credit card, two ATM cards ,and several identification cards including my national id card and my drivers' licence. Absolutely useless to a thief but almost irreplaceable to me. I thank the good Lord for His continued deliverance............

Shalom!

This and That

2009-02-25T23:39:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

It's been quite a while. February has turned out to be quite a topsy- turvy month. What with chicken pox, malaria, a bad cold and all. It has been one of those months you want to see end very quickly.
In all though I have cause to thank God. Dennis quietly turned fifty-( celebration will be done later in the year), Bobos recovered well from his chicken pox attack - and all we have to do is figure out a way to get rid of the scars! He is back to his old self and asserting his authority as "baby of the house".
Two days ago I was giving him a bath and trying to figure a way out of the turbulent start to this new year, when he started with his usual 'bathroom gist'.

Bobos: "mummy please bath my spiderman, he is my son" (he has this little spiderman toy that he insists on bathing with whenever it is not 'hiding')

Mummy: "so, you have a son?"

Bobos: "Yes now, this spiderman is my son. can't you see he is little and I am big?"

Mummy: "so you are a big boy now?"

Bobos: "I am big enough!"

And that last statement was deliverance indeed for me. I realised that this young man had again taught me a great lesson. I am big enough for the challenges that face me. Indeed we are all big enough.
The Bible says in 1 Cor.10:13, "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear to bear it."

We are always big enough for our troubles; the challenge is that we don't always look for that promised way of escape. I have a fresh perspective, thanks to that reminder from Bobos, "I am big enough" and so are you!
Shalom....

Help for parents with teenagers

2009-02-04T08:03:00.000-08:00

Hi,

I have a teenage son and an almost teenage daughter. I guess I know how they can be sometimes. I found this article helpful and I thought you might too. Please let me know what you think............shalom!

All teens lie, right? Teen lying is something that is done harmlessly and viciously. Teens lie for many reasons; most of them have to do with their ability to do it. Pulling a fast one over on mom and dad is something you probably tried too. But, in today's world, lying teens can get into a whole lot more trouble than you could. That is what makes it so important to know if your teen is lying to you and then to handle it.

Teens lie that their homework is done. They lie that they are fine when they may be dealing with heavy amounts of stress. They lie because they want to do something you are saying no to. They lie and they lie. Yet, what should you do if you think that your child is doing this?

Here are some things to think about.

What makes you think they are lying? If you accuse them of lying to you, they will never fess up to it. Instead, they may try to cover it up and they may get away with it. Instead of accusing them, sit them down and talk to them about it. Really, you just need to talk about it without yelling and accusations to make the problems less important.

Teens lying may be built onto something. They may want to impress you with where they are in their lives. They may not want to disappoint you either. Make sure that you are not pumping them up so much so that they feel they have to lie to you.

The lying teen may be covering up trouble. Know your teen and recognize the symptoms of other problems. Talk with them about things like drugs, alcohol and sex. Talk with them about how to react to these situations. Spot when you think there is a problem and work it out then.

While all teens lie from time to time, those that make it a habit may be covering up something that is much bigger. It is up to you to handle this now, before the teens lying gets them into huge amounts of trouble.

Are you concerned your teen is or may be getting out of control? If so click here to get some help from someone who has been working with frustrated parents for over 20 years!

Resources:

Help with Parenting Troubled Teens

Back to School

2009-02-03T01:24:00.000-08:00

Hi, it has been one of those weeks. Bobos had the worst case of chicken pox I have ever seen- ( I had gone through four others, including moi and three of the other kids). It was so bad he even had the rash on his palms and the soles of his feet! And he added malaria for good effect! It was not funny at all. My tummy was for his mattress for four days straight.
Thankfully the worst is over and he is back to school today. It was not easy getting him to go back to school though. He came up with every excuse in the book. "mummy, see the small one is still on my belly", aunty Betty will not tell me sorry". " mummy, I want to sleep" and when nothing appeared to move mummy, he came out straight; " mummy take me back home".

Children,sigh! Hard to believe that I was once like that. Or that indeed I am still like that with my heavenly father. Jeremiah 29:11 says "..for I know the plans I have for you, plans of good and not of evil...." We often read those words but still insist on our own plans. We behave as if God cannot possibly appreciate exactly what we are going through and we need to getHim to see things our way!
How like three year old Bobos we are! God knows the things we are going through, yet he sees the big picture. Jesus said, "....your heavenly father knows that you need all these things........"(Matthew6:32b)
Yes, He knows. In Fact He knows better than you do. Just like I know Bobos is well enough to resume school, God knows the things we are capable of. He will never give you a burden you are not empowered to carry, regardless of how it looks. Trusting Him requires obedience even when it is uncomfortable to do so.Bobos finally agreed to stay in class. I have no doubt by the time I pick him up in the afternoon, he will be smiling and thoroughly glad to have gone to school today.
Same way we will be smiling when God picks us up at the end of our daily obedience to His leading...............shalom

A mother's night vigil

2009-01-28T17:52:00.000-08:00

Watching a sick child all through the night is not an easy task. it is physically and emotionally draining; you watch the child struggle with pain you cannot bear for him. Whenever he cries, your heart is wrenched; you wish you could wave a magic wand a
make it all go away but that doesn't happen. It is a process and every process must take it's course.
If you are anything like me, you fret a lot, pray a lot and think of all the peole you could call up in the middle of the night to tell about your baby's condition. But you don't call anyone, because anxious as you are, you know it is not the right thing to do.
I mean, why wake anyone up to tell them your child has chicken pox? What can they do for you at 2.a.m? It is a lonely vigil that only the mother of a sick child understands. It is also a time of reflection.
While the world sleeps and you agonise over your baby's pain, you ask yourself; is this how God feels about me? Does He feel my pain? Is He awake because of me?
The Holy Bible tells us that "He neither sleeps nor slumbers". Also that "He is mindful" of us.
How comforting to know that just like a mother watching her son struggle through the deep and dark night, God is watching us struggle through this deep and dark world. And like the mother who will do anything to make her child better, He has done everything to make us better; the difference is that while are efforts are hardly adequate, His are more than enough...........shalom